Disappointment

Really wish i have parents that would console me, tell me that everything is alright, there's always a way out, or any encouraging thing that can be said. Instead of keep saying that if i had done this if i have done that i would have done better.

What is the fucking use of saying that now? I say i already tried my best, you guys dont believe. What can i do?

Hate the mindset that they have. If i try hard i WILL do well. If i dont do well means i NEVER TRY HARD ENOUGH. Okay jus admit your daughter gets more stupid as she grows older la okay.

Yes im ashamed of my results. There's a reason why i didnt want to tell you guys directly when i reached home. You think i dont feel sad? You had to yell at me dont you? You had to say those kind of useless comments like last time this last time that, dont you? Is it even necessary?

So im supposed to get on with life and continue with my piano lesson as though nthg happened. Oh i forgot, money is more important than everything else, including my feelings. Oh yeah i forgot how practical you two are. I forgot.

I beg you. Give me time to pick myself up again. Take it as i beg you and stop fucking giving me those comments. The amount of tears because i cried because of you two's comments is more than i cried because of my results. I already feel sad enough abt my results. Stop making me feel even more upset please.

Can they please be more understanding? Just that will be enough to comfort me.